i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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