Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
