I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
