why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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