Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
His hands were made for my vagina.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
