i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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