i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
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Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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