i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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