they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
