i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
