question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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