just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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