We named our party play list daddy issues
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
