Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
