What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
a search helicopter?!
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
