we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
