I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
