dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
