either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
