Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry eyelikegrapes hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.

Fav 74 4483 2211
share tweet
(712): View more from Iowa

He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!

Fav 15 947 5517
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(623): View more from Arizona

Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?

Fav 34 1077 12096
share tweet
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.

Fav 16 1413 5133
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration

Fav 12 2705 1405
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.

Fav 2 1553 839
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual

Fav 5 1476 987
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(650): View more from California

Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter

Fav 0 5 28
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(705): View more from Ontario

It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.

Fav 0 128 20
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT