you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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