just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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