She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
