I'm jealous of your bromance
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
