You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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