All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
