Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
