I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
