And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
