I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
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The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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