4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
