Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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