Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
