i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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