I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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