It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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