office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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