Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
