pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
