i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I want to be your penis for a week.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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