i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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