If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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