Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
