Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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