i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
being pregnant is like rehab
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
