I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
