Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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