I'm so fucking centered right now
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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