Need sex. Gaining weight.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize