He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
