Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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