butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
