I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize