No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
