We're facebook friends in real life
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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