Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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