He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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