He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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