Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
