Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I have tasted many bathrooms
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
