The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize