Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
