i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
